Mar
11

Daniel Bass: Twitter Updates for 2012-03-11

  • Do your ears hang lo..do they wobble to & fro..can ya tie’em in a knot can you believe your wife left you for shooting her cat w/a crossbow? #
  • @Jaden76: This contest defines “a year’s supply of Girl Scout cookies” as 52 boxes. I beg to differ… #
  • @CrystalMoonable: I hate to dust so I tell people that my grandmother’s last wish was to have her ashes scattered around my house. #
  • @Jaden76: People who need the volume on an even number are crazy…it can also be Read the rest of this entry »
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Mar
04

Daniel Bass: Twitter Updates for 2012-03-04

  • @eddiepepitone: crying in one’s car has become a lost art. This generation doesn’t know about tradition. #
  • @wheatnik: I need something else to do w/my time after I drink 2 pots of coffee than walking up to people & screaming “AM I NOT MERCIFUL?!” #
  • @Hadzilla: Ran out of spoons so I’m using Tostitos Scoops to eat my Apple Jacks and this is rock bottom. #
  • A failed business model… Read the rest of this entry »
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Feb
26

Daniel Bass: Twitter Updates for 2012-02-26

  • RT @eddiepepitone: bad quote from Education Counsellor- too many of our young people are morons from hell. #
  • Sir George Young would “die a happier man” if he knew heat from his cremation was warming the waters of a local pool. http://t.co/Et5QAewg #
  • RT @eddiepepitone: “My shrink wants to up my meds to DEFCON 4 PRE APOCALYPSE levels. I told him relax, it’s only life.” #
  • @StevenAmiri: Finish script about thirty year old baristas that work at a coffee shop…in space. #todolist #
  • RT @vladchoc: Are you there God? It’s me, chocolate. They keep putting me on raisins. It’s weird. #
  • Mo’ Money Mo’ Problems… | Why do people dress up their pets? http://t.co/MSnoklAN #
  • @donnyclaytheway: Man will always reach for the stars…which is why female stars hire massive Read the rest of this entry »
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Feb
19

Daniel Bass: Twitter Updates for 2012-02-19

  • RT @SteveMartinToGo: I am thinking that “magnamonium” means “with intense reverence, bordering on ludicrousness.” Or is that Trumpian? #
  • RT @StellaRtwot: Found an ant in my bathroom today, which is weird because I haven’t had a picnic in there for like 3 months. #
  • RT @Hadzilla: Haha this baby is eating birdseed right out of my hand. So cute. #
  • #HonestTequilaAds Michael Imperioli takes a shot..slurs a question about Vampires..farts so loud his nose Read the rest of this entry »
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Feb
12

Daniel Bass: Twitter Updates for 2012-02-12

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Feb
05

Daniel Bass: Twitter Updates for 2012-02-05

  • A Baaad Commute? | A flock of sheep forming a frenzied, cyclonic circle around a car… http://t.co/Odm1doLg #
  • Romans 1:16-32 (@ Conduit Church) http://t.co/8qyRBOqg #
  • RT @RobinMcCauley: The farthest back I can remember is crying in my crib and hearing someone ask me “Why are you in a crib? You’re 38.” #
  • As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you (cont) http://t.co/UDdNY0Er #
  • @mollymcnearney: Has the man who signed millions of Cabbage Patch Kids’ butt cheeks turned up as a pedophile yet? #
  • RT @richmckay: I thought I was failing an eye exam but I was just passed out in a bowl of alphabet soup. #
  • RT @JDeragon: The knowledge of what needs to change & how to make the change is no longer contained by the few rather it rest with the many. #
  • Holder to Puerto Rican Rep: ‘Wherever you’re from’ | http://t.co/b4V8STkj #
  • RT @MATT_KOFF: Before Twitter, I had to follow food trucks on a Read the rest of this entry »
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Jan
29

Daniel Bass: Twitter Updates for 2012-01-29

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Jan
22

Daniel Bass: Twitter Updates for 2012-01-22

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Jan
22

Daniel Bass’s Weekly Twitter Report for 2012-01-22

  • @larrywinget: “Some people couldn’t make a point with an ice pick.” #larrywinget
  • Take my Honda…please: http://t.co/dBVw8Tkx #
  • RT @JimGaffigan: People are so nice in Utah it makes me think they are stealing from me. #
  • Sen. Jim DeMint “If we don’t listen to Ron Paul…the FED is going to destroy our Monetary System” – http://t.co/plltymQy #
  • RT @greggutfeld: Clooney refused to thank all the hobos and their blood that he copiously drinks. #noclass #
  • RT @DirtyMelodies: My little neighbor was doing his math homework & it took me 10 seconds and the use of my fingers to confirm that 9+7=16. #
  • RT @meganamram: There’s literally no way to know how many chameleons are in your house #
  • Ron Paul is the winner in Read the rest of this entry »
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Jan
15

Daniel Bass: Twitter Updates for 2012-01-15

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